Friday, August 31, 2012
Thursday, August 30, 2012
May I request Ladies to keep quiet so we can hear the Niagara falls
Guide: I welcome you all to Niagara
falls.
This is the world's largest waterfall and the
sound intensity of the waterfall is so high
that even 20 supersonic planes passing by
can't be heard!
Now may I Request the LADIES to keep quiet
so that we can hear The Niagra Falls..!!
This is the world's largest waterfall and the
sound intensity of the waterfall is so high
that even 20 supersonic planes passing by
can't be heard!
Now may I Request the LADIES to keep quiet
so that we can hear The Niagra Falls..!!
While in the playground with his friend, Little Johnny noticed that Jimmy was wearing a brand new, shiny watch
"Did you get that for your birthday?" asked Little Johnny. "Nope." replied Jimmy. "Well, did you get it for Christmas then?". Again Jimmy says "Nope." "You didn't steal it, did you?" asks Little Johnny. "No," said Jimmy. "I went into Mom and Dad's bedroom the other night when they were 'doing the nasty'. Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me.
Little Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely jealous of Jimmy's new watch. He vowed to get one for himself. That night, he waited outside his parents' bedroom until he heard the unmistakable noises of lovemaking. Just then, he swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom. His father, caught in mid stroke, turned and said angrily. "What do you want now?" "I wanna watch," Johnny replied.
Without missing a stroke, his father said, "Fine. Stand in the corner and watch, but keep quiet.
Little Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely jealous of Jimmy's new watch. He vowed to get one for himself. That night, he waited outside his parents' bedroom until he heard the unmistakable noises of lovemaking. Just then, he swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom. His father, caught in mid stroke, turned and said angrily. "What do you want now?" "I wanna watch," Johnny replied.
Without missing a stroke, his father said, "Fine. Stand in the corner and watch, but keep quiet.
Two rules of a man's life:
1) They never flirt with any unknown lady.
2) They never consider any lady unknown
2) They never consider any lady unknown
A man goes to the famous Lucas Carton restaurant in Paris with his girlfriend and orders the 1928 Mouton.
The waiter returns with a bottle full of wine, pours a small amount in the glass for tasting.
The customer picks up the glass, smells the wine, and puts it down on the table with a thud. "This is not the 1928 Mouton."
The waiter assures him it is, and soon there are another twenty people surrounding the table, including the chef and the manager trying to convince the man that the wine is the 1928 Mouton.
Finally someone asks him how he knows that it is not the 1928 Mouton.
"My name is Phillipe de Rothschild, and I make the wine."
Finally, the original waiter steps forward and admits that he poured the Clerc Milon 1928. "I could not bear to part with our last bottle of 1928 Mouton. You know Clerc Milon, it is in the same village as Mouton, you pick the grapes at the same time, the same cepage, you crush in the same way, you put them into similar barrels. You bottle at the same time, you even use eggs from the same chickens to fine them. The wines are the same, except for a small matter of geographic location."
Rothschild beckons the waiter forward, and whispers to him, "When you return home tonight, ask your girlfriend to remove her underwear. Put one finger in one opening, another finger in the other, then smell both the fingers. You will understand what difference a small distance in geographic location makes".
The customer picks up the glass, smells the wine, and puts it down on the table with a thud. "This is not the 1928 Mouton."
The waiter assures him it is, and soon there are another twenty people surrounding the table, including the chef and the manager trying to convince the man that the wine is the 1928 Mouton.
Finally someone asks him how he knows that it is not the 1928 Mouton.
"My name is Phillipe de Rothschild, and I make the wine."
Finally, the original waiter steps forward and admits that he poured the Clerc Milon 1928. "I could not bear to part with our last bottle of 1928 Mouton. You know Clerc Milon, it is in the same village as Mouton, you pick the grapes at the same time, the same cepage, you crush in the same way, you put them into similar barrels. You bottle at the same time, you even use eggs from the same chickens to fine them. The wines are the same, except for a small matter of geographic location."
Rothschild beckons the waiter forward, and whispers to him, "When you return home tonight, ask your girlfriend to remove her underwear. Put one finger in one opening, another finger in the other, then smell both the fingers. You will understand what difference a small distance in geographic location makes".
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
10 things Crazy people do on my BBM- list.
1. Someone on his status "Sleeping"
...since 3 days!
He's probably dead.
2. Someone never sends anything, then at night once a week/month he says: "Good night"
WTF!
3. Someone is sick since the time I added him.
4. Someone steals my status and keeps it at the same time when I do.
5. Someone is "Driving"
...since 3 days!
I guess he reached Pakistan!!
6. Someone sends me back exactly what I sent to him..
Seems like he wants to play table tennis!
7. Someone still has his status as "Happy New Year!"
8. Someone's status is "Happy" since one month.
Living in Paradise?
9. Someone when I send a broadcast he just puts a smiley face.
10."Hmm" and "ℓ☺ℓ.."- over used words..!!
...since 3 days!
He's probably dead.
2. Someone never sends anything, then at night once a week/month he says: "Good night"
WTF!
3. Someone is sick since the time I added him.
4. Someone steals my status and keeps it at the same time when I do.
5. Someone is "Driving"
...since 3 days!
I guess he reached Pakistan!!
6. Someone sends me back exactly what I sent to him..
Seems like he wants to play table tennis!
7. Someone still has his status as "Happy New Year!"
8. Someone's status is "Happy" since one month.
Living in Paradise?
9. Someone when I send a broadcast he just puts a smiley face.
10."Hmm" and "ℓ☺ℓ.."- over used words..!!
A Teenage girl was chatting with a stranger on FB
A teenage girl was chatting on FB
Stranger:hey pretty!
cld u giv me ur mail id?
Girl: oh sure
its,ihaveaboyfriend_
Stranger:n mine is
iamyourfather_andyouaredead@
Stranger:hey pretty!
cld u giv me ur mail id?
Girl: oh sure
its,ihaveaboyfriend_
Stranger:n mine is
iamyourfather_andyouaredead@
NURSERY RHYME FOR WORKING PEOPLE!
Johnny Johnny…………… YES PAPA !
DO you have a Job…………….YES PAPA !
Lot of Tension……………..YES PAPA !
Too Much Work…………...YES PAPA !
Family Life………………... NO PAPA !
BP-Sugar…………………. HIGH PAPA !
YearlyBonus……………… JOKE PAPA !
Annual Pay………………... LOW PAPA !
Personal Life……………… LOST PAPA !
Promotion Incentive…… HA ! Ha ! Ha !
DO you have a Job…………….YES PAPA !
Lot of Tension……………..YES PAPA !
Too Much Work…………...YES PAPA !
Family Life………………... NO PAPA !
BP-Sugar…………………. HIGH PAPA !
YearlyBonus……………… JOKE PAPA !
Annual Pay………………... LOW PAPA !
Personal Life……………… LOST PAPA !
Promotion Incentive…… HA ! Ha ! Ha !
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
If you feel true love really Exists....Try the following
Try exchanging your
BLACKBERRY with your
Partner for a DAY....!!!!:p
BLACKBERRY with your
Partner for a DAY....!!!!:p
A guy got chatting to a girl in a club: "Can I buy you a drink?", he asked.
"Have you not got a girlfriend?" she replied, "Guys like you always have girlfriends."
"No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago." he assured her.
"Oh I'm sorry to hear that," she said, "Go on then, I'll have a white wine please."
A few drinks later after a kiss and a cuddle they headed off back to her place and made passionate love . While he was putting his clothes back on she said, "So, you're good looking, a nice guy and amazing in bed, can I ask why on earth you split with your girlfriend?"
He said, "My wife found out"
"No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago." he assured her.
"Oh I'm sorry to hear that," she said, "Go on then, I'll have a white wine please."
A few drinks later after a kiss and a cuddle they headed off back to her place and made passionate love . While he was putting his clothes back on she said, "So, you're good looking, a nice guy and amazing in bed, can I ask why on earth you split with your girlfriend?"
He said, "My wife found out"
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