Jimmy, Answer Me!! Please!

Girls Room, Girls Car, Boys Room, Boys Car.

A Husband comes home from work early one day. He walks in to the kitchen and sees his wife on her knees, scrubbing the floor.

He watches the rhythmic movements of her bum stuck high in the air for a few seconds, can't take it any more.
Without a word, he lifts up her skirt, slides it in & gives her the pounding of her life until they both Orgasm loudly.

Then he zips himself up, gets to his feet & slaps her ass hard.

"What the fxck was that for.?!

"That was for Not turning round to see who the fxck it was."!!

Principal :I tried ur number so many times, it said switched off..!

STUDENT: "ya... it's my CALLER TUNE"

Principal shock!

Student rock;)

ANatomy of an Urban Thug

Santa: tum apni biwi ko kya naam se bulate ho? Banta: Google darling!

Santa: why such a strange name?

Banta: 1 sawal karo 100 jawab deti hai..!!

A woman was having sxx with her lover in her apartment, 20 storeys high Suddenly she heard her husband arrive. She told her lover, stay like statue and Don't move.

Husband: Who is this?"

Wife: This is a robot I bought to hv sex with when u r travelling.

Husband: Ok let's have sxx now

Wife: No sweetheart, yesterday I got my period. So I will go & make a cup of coffee 4 u.

After she left the husband said "Damn it I'm so horny, I will fuck this robot!
He tried fucking. The lover started talking in a metallic robotic way:
"SYSTEM ERROR!
WRONG HOLE!
SYSTEM ERROR!
WRONG HOLE".

Husband: Damn! robot is not working properly. I'm throwing it out of the window.

The lover realised that he was on the 20th floor
so he said
"SOFTWARE UPDATED"
PLEASE TRY AGAIN

Are You Sad Put A smile on Your Face

If animals have Facebook, these are most likely to be their Status Updates :

COCKROACH: "Managed to skip from some one’s foot step.. Man, I lead a dangerous lifestyle!"

Cat: "My 7th child is asking who is her dad. What shall I tell her??, I don’t even remember"

Mosquito: "I am HIV positive.. this is all due to wrong sucking"

Pig: "Oh gosh they throw the gossips
that I am spreading flu…WTF!! "

Goat : "Friends, don’t go out, Eid is coming soon"

Chicken: "If tomorrow there's no status update from my side, means I'm being served at KFC.:)

A rich gujju had an accident, in his new BMW... The cops came and he said sadly "Officer mari brand new car!"

Cop: Ur materialistic nature makes me sick and your so blinded by money that tane khabar nathi padi ke tharo left haath kapai gayo...Gujju looks at his left arm n shouts, "Siiiiit! Mari rolex..."=D

"MAN was sent on earth to struggle...."

AND
'' WOMAN was sent to make sure it happens ..

God gave us Mondays to punish us

for what we did over the weekend.

Women hope men will change after marriage but they don't;

 men hope women won't change but they do.

Husband and Wife agreed that anytime they want to have sxx, they will call it a ‘PHONE CALL’ so that the kids will not decode...

One day they had a fight and the wife stopped talking to the husband and they were talking to each other through their kids.
The husband to his son: "Tell your mom that Daddy wants to make a phone call."
Mother replies: "Tell your dad that the Network is down today."
Dad replies: "Tell your mom that if there is no Network at home, I will go to a Public Phone."
Mother to her son: "Tell your dad, if he dare go to a Public Phone, she will open a Call Center at home

Tragedy hits Punjab.....there was a power failure in a shopping mall

and all the sardars were stuck on the ESCALATOR for hours..:|

Mom says "Alcohol is your enemy"

Jesus says "Love your enemy"

Daily Schedule - Wake up, Actually Awake, Get Ready, work, work, work, Lunch, Go home, Dinner, Internet, Internet, Internet, Go to Bed

some people wish to be pretty, rich and famous or popular, me I Just want to be Happy.

Girl : Im not feeling well Today Boy : Oh! Thatz too bad, i thought of taking yu for shopping Today :/

Girl : I was joking ;)
Boy : Me tooo......:D

Only two things can change a woman's mood

1) I love you! :)
     
and

2) 50% discount! :D

Meaning of Sindhi Surnames / Last Names:

What is a Sindhi 'Astronaut'  called?
Chandwani.

A 'simple' Sindhi?
Sadwani.

A 'smelly'?
Baswani.

A 'colorful'?
Rangwani.

An 'athlete'?
Bhaagchandani.

A 'milkman'?
Dudani.

A 'careless'?
Parwani

An 'electric'?
Bijlani.

An 'advanced'?
Advani.

A 'vibrating'?
Kampani.

A 'flowery'?
Fulwani

A 'weight lifting'?
Tolani.

A 'hairy'?
Keswani.

A 'beautiful'?
Rupchandani.
&
Rupani,

A 'muderer'?
wadhwani

An 'honest'?
GOOGLE Is still SEARCHING. 


@ to my Sindhi friends..pl enjoy this

Friend, Girlfriend, Boyfriend everything has an End except for Family

Why! Why am I so Awesome

I am Still waiting for the day that I will actually use this in real Life

A man to Santa: Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.

Santa rushes home and came back within
half an hour and slapped the man
and said:
Hes not my friend.

Hilarious! - Santa called his boss & said "I won't be returning to work tomorrow because I've got vaginal issues".

He said "what the hell! you're a man". Santa replied "Yes but you're a chut"

New Age Good Better Best

I am who I am Your Approval isnt Needed

To All the Haterz just realised you have one advantage over me ..you can kiss my Arse but i Cant

Friend: I got a brand new BMW for my wife!

Sardar: Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!!

When two ppl start liking each other, who benefits the most, Boy or the Girl?

Is it the boy?
No.
.
Is it the gal?
No.
.
Den who?
.
.
Its the MOBILE service providers :p

A boy asked his grandpa what is valentines day??

 Grandpa replies:  its Christmas for bitches

Different Kind of Mood Swings

Daily Biceps Work Out Tips

How do you think college works, How college actually works

Gal: What do you think about our love? Boy: Try to count the stars in the sky

Gal: Awwww....It's infinite?! 


Boy: No bitch! It's a waste of time

Life Taught Me Lot Of Lessons...

But I Bunked Those Classes Too.. 

Emotion On and Off

Unless your name is Google, stop acting as if you know everything

Intel Inside Idiot Outside

This Funny fact always happens with Me: Study for One Hour- No One Sees.!

But Pick Up Mobile just 4 a Sec-
Mom/Dad enters

1.The pleasure of sXx in the dark is 10 times stronger than when the light is on..!

2.Taking bath at same time with ur partner increases ur love by 20 times..!
.
.
.
Issued in public interest by:
MSEB & Maharashtra Water Dept...:)
Save Electricity.. Save Water..

I love My Little Sister, But I am The Little Sister, I Love Me Hohoho

Guess What I Dont give a F&%&

The privilege of Drinking with Friends is that, we can talk nonsense all d time..

& the best thing is that,
Nonsense is Understood, Discussed & Respected.

I dont know how I Feel

When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big boobs. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend with big bxxbs, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless.  So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.
When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am older and wiser now,
and
I am looking for a girl with big boobs

I am Sexy and I Know it GIF

7 funniest contradictory words:

1 clearly misunderstood
2 exact estimate
3 small crowd
4 act naturally
5 found missing
6 fully empty
and the best
7 happily married.

A Woman has only two problems - Nothing to wear and no rooms for all the clothes

A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex."

"But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied. "I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry."

Santa and banta were driving to DisneyLand. The sign said: Disneyland Left.

So they started crying and headed home!

The Banana Love

The New Surprise Balloon 2012

When I get a new Phone - First Month Place it Gently everywhere, First Year Soft Throw on Bed Matress, Two Years Later THrow it Everywhere

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.

The man went back to his reading. A few
minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took
a tissue, wiped her nose, and then shuddered
violently once more.

Assuming that the woman might have a cold,
the man was still curious about the
shuddering. A few more minutes passed when
the woman sneezed yet again.

As before she took a tissue, wiped her nose,
her body shaking even more than before.

Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man
turned to the woman and said, 'I couldn't help
but notice that you've sneezed three times,
wiped your nose and then shuddered violently.
Are you OK?'

'I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare
medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have
an orgasm. '

The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was
still curious. I have never heard of that
condition before' he said. 'Are you taking
anything for it?'

The woman nodded, 'Pepper.

Brain: WoW the weekend is here!

Liver: Oh no Not again :(

Difference between Family Man and Single Man

Im not Flirting its called being extra nice to someone who i think is very attractive

Pretty Girls turn heads. Me and my Girls Break Necks

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident. It's a bad one, caused by the woman's reckless driving. Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says;
“So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman.
Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt.
This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
 
The man replied," I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!
 
The woman continued,
"And look at this, here's another miracle.
My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine didn't break.
Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man.
 
The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. 
The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
 
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police to come and collect their evidence."
 
Adam ate the apple again ! 
 
Men will NEVER learn ! 


Women will NEVER change !!

And Thats What we call head Banging