Monday, January 30, 2012

Dramatic Scene when you loose your Blackberry

 We live in a world where losing your BlackBerry is more dramatic than

losing your virginity HAHA

Until Her Nail Polish Dries

A Woman is completely harmless & does not believe  in violence. She is like an angel, the most mannered human being in d world.

Until her nail polish dries :p

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Friends dont let Friends talk to ugly guys.


New Symbol for Marriage


New Indian National Symbols, Objects and Persons 2012

National Robot ... Manmohan
National salesmen ... SRK
National runner ... D K Bose
National secret ... Sonia Gandhi
National Balm... Zandu
National joke ... Government Lokpal
National Struggler ... Abhishek Bachchan
National Guests ... Kasab, Afzal Guru and the tie between Robert Vadra
National jewelry store ... Bappi Lahiri
National waiting moment... Sachin's century
National Horror... a sequel of Ra-One
National Hand ... Sunny Deol
National concern ... Salman's marriage
National slapper - Harvinder Singh
National Asylum ... Big Boss's house
National bird ... Twitter
National cheek ... Sharad Pawar
National Palace ... Tihar
National Bank ... SWISS:)

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

How I look on the Mirror and on the camera


When everything is so less

 Welcome to the 21st Century Where:

Our phones ~~ wireless!
Cooking ~~ fireless!
Cars ~~ keyless!
Food ~~ fatless!
Dress ~~ sleeveless !
Youth ~~ jobless!
Leaders ~~ shameless!
Relationships ~~meaningless!
Attitude ~~ careless!
Wives ~~ fearless!
Feelings ~~ heartless!
Education ~~ valueless!
Children ~ mannerless !
But still, Our Hopes are ~~ Endless.

Infact, I am speechless!!!

I Love You This Much


Sunday, January 15, 2012

How many Pizz do you have to Eat


So many Things to Do and Time


Drunk husband agrees to wife

 Drunk Husband - "A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband's key in the door.

"Stay where you are," she said. "He's so drunk he won't even notice you're in bed with me." Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed none the wiser, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed. He turned to his wife: "Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What's going on?" "Nonsense," said the wife. "You're so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there." The husband climbed out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. You're right, you know."

Saturday, January 14, 2012

I wasn't that drunk

Dude , u put your iPhone in a juicer because you wanted to make apple juice

She will be 18 in 11 Minutes

A Cop was patrolling late at night off the main highway. He saw a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing.

He carefully approached the car to get a closer look.

He saw a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. 

He then immediately noticed a young woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails.

Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walked to the car and gently knocked on the driver's window. 

The young man lowered his window: "Uh...yes, Officer?" :)

Cop: "What are you doing???" 

Young Man: "Well, Officer I'm reading a magazine." 

Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the cop asked: "And her, what is she doing???"

The young man shrugged: "Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails." 

Now, the cop was totally confused. A young couple, alone, in a car, at night in a lover's lane and NOTHING obscene happening! 

The cop asked: "How old are you young man?" 

Young Man: "I'm 22, sir." 

Cop: "And her....how old is she???"

The young man looked at his watch and replied: "She will be EIGHTEEN in 11 Minutes!"

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Everything is so Fishy, Fishy Love, Fishy Fight and Fishy Dinner


Destiny will never change no matter how much u try

what ever is written in your destiny.... Will never change no matter how much u try to...

Death came to a guy and said, "My friend today is your day"

Guy:- "But i'm not ready!".
Then death said, "Well your name
is the next on my list...".

Guy:- "Okay why don't you take a

seat and I will get you something
to eat before we go?".

Then death said,"All right.. ".

The guy gave death some food
with sleeping pills in it, death
finished eating and fell into a
deep sleep.

The guy took the list & removed his

name from top of the list and put
into the bottom of the list.

When death woke up he said to

the guy,
"Because you have been so very
nice to me,

I will start from the BOTTOM of the

list.."

...what ever is written in your destiny.... Will never change no matter how much u try to...

Dealing with Girlfriend who needs 2000

Perfect  Boyfriend:  GIRL- "I forgot my wallet at home & i need 2000 Dollars. urgently, please give me"

BOY-" Take 20 Dollars..Take a Taxi and Go home bring Your Wallet."

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Rooney is Back really


While Driving does your action speak more

After an accident? Driver angrily: I showed you the headlights and told you to let me go first

Santa : I also started the wipers & said No No No...

Smart Kid makes 1000

A lady takes her lover to her house during the day, while her husband is at work and Unknown to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet to skip school.

Unexpectedly her husband returns home, so she asks the man to hide in the same closet.

The boy now has company!

Boy: "dark in here"
Man: " yes it is"
Boy: " I have a baseball"
Man: " that's nice"
Boy:" wanna buy it?"
Man:"no, thanks"
Boy:" my dad is outside"
Man: " ok how much"
Boy: "250"

In the next few weeks it happens again and they meet in the same closet.
Boy: "dark in here"
Man: " yes it is"
Boy: " I have a baseball glove"
Man: " how much"
Boy:"750"
Man; "fine"

Few days later the father says to the boy, " grab your gloves and ball and let's go to the park
The boy says"I sold them"
Father:"how much"
Boy:"1000"
Father:" it's terrible to over charge your friends. We are going to church and u have to confess!"
So they go to the church and father alerts the priest, makes the boy sit in the confession room and closes the door

Boy :"Dark in here"
Priest: "Don't u start again!!"

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Dont Step on it, It makes you Cry


Anything your wife doesn't use anymore

A wife arrived home after a shopping trip and sees her husband in bed with a woman. "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about.

Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her. Her shoes were worn-out so I gave her a pair of your shoes that you didn't wear. She was cold, so I gave her that new birthday sweater you never wear because the color didn't suit you. Then as she was about to leave, she paused and asked: “Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore?” So, here we are!"

20 things in india to take you back to 90s


1) You know the words to ‘In-pin-safety-pin’ and ‘akkad-bakkad’ by heart.;)

2) You have read at least some Chacha Chaudhary or Tinkle comic.:D

3) You’ve watched Shaktimaan on TV at least once in your life. B-)

4) You couldn’t wait to start 4th standard so you could start writing with PENS instead of with pencils.;)

5) You couldn’t wait for it to be December so you could have the Toblerone chocolates your NRI relatives brought you.

6) You watched Cartoon Network.

7) You watched dubbed versions of Small Wonder.

8) You were THRILLED when McDonald’s opened in your neighborhood (or even eight kilometers away)

9) A visit to Pizza Hut used to mean a special treat.




10) You have seen Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and Hum Aapke 



Hain Kaun at least 5 times each.
 

11) You still remember the theme song of Hum Paanch (Hum


Paanch, Pam Pam Pam Paanch).:D

12) You have played hours upon hour of running and 


catching, chor-police, ‘Doctor, doctor, help us!’, ‘Lock and 

key’ .

13)Dog ‘in’ the bone was your favorite co-ed game.

14) You often used terms and phrases like ‘two-say’, ‘same to 


you, back to you, with no returns’, and ‘shame shame, puppy

shame, all the donkeys know your name. ;)

15) Your summer vacations were often synonymous with


visiting your grandparents or cousins.:)

16) Your parents, at some point, told you ‘Dark Room’ was a


bad game to play. But you still loved playing it.:/

17) Bole mere lips, I love uncle Chips !!.

18) You know the song ‘Made in India’ by Alisha Chinai.O:)

19) You have seen many many many episodes of ‘Antakshari’


on Zee TV and know the only thing constant in the show is 

Anu Kapoor.

20) You eagerly awaited Friendship Day, so you could give 


friendship bands to all your friends, and get bands from 

them 

in return.*...* 

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Worlds hardest Tongue Twister

This is the world's hardest tongue twister.. According to Guinness book of world records.. TRY IT..!!

''The sixth sick sikh's sixth sheep is sick''

Santa Fell in Love


Banta : Dude, what did you see in her...?
Santa : Her left eye is so beautiful that even her right eye was looking at it !!!!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The Awkward moment you go for a handshake


Angry Sadar annot transfer file from my previous laptop

Sardar went to a electronic shop with anger and threw his new laptop on the desk at a person from whom he bought.

He told the salesman that you have cheated me. I cannot transfer file from my previous laptop

Salesman:- sir, can you please try in front of me.

This is what Sardar did



1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.

2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.

3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file.

4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option.





Sardar went to a electronic shop with anger and threw his new laptop on the desk at a person from whom he bought.

He told the salesman that you have cheated me. I cannot transfer file from my previous laptop

Salesman:- sir, can you please try infront of me.

This is what Sardar did


1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.

2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.

3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file.

4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option.


Salesman fainted