1. Tell them they must have the wrong number, only god lives here
2. When they call back, Tell them this is the devil’s residence
3. Tell them she/he can’t come to the phone right now as they are in deep meditation and may stay that way for days.
4. Start telling them about the wonderful encyclopedias you have in stock.
5. Start telling them your life story
6. Tell them about your intense hatred for salespeople, then ask where they live
7. Reply to all their questions in song
8. Ask for someone who can translate pig Latin, as you speak no other language
9. Hand the phone to the youngest member of the house (under 5)
10. As soon as they name the corporation they represent begin barking relentlessly
11. Start trying to give them a psychological analysis
12. Demand that they refer to you as Dr. Chopsticks
13. Proudly describe what you found in your ear this morning
14. Ask them what color underwear they are wearing today
15. Describe your socks in detail
16. Interrupt them repeatedly to describe the beauty of your new toaster
17. Whiningly tell thing that it is past your bedtime
18. Midway through the conversation say, "oh no Phil! You’ve done it again! I told you that knife was too sharp! Where are we going to get the money for another funeral?"
19. Ask them repeatedly if they believe in antelopes
20. Refuse to answer any of their questions, as they may be one of THEM!
21. Ask them what they think would happen if you put a frog in a blender later tell them they were wrong
22. Ask them for their phone number so that you can call them back and chat some more
13. Burst into tears when they try to hang up and scream "Don’t leave Me!"
24. Tell them about the time when you got stuck in the doggy door
25. When they ask to speak to you spend a long time trying to decide if that really is your name and after you realize it is ask them to remind you of it occasionally
26. Proudly explain that they are the first person that you have spoken to since you return to Earth
27. In the middle of the conversation start humming the sesame street theme song, when they try to speak sound surprised and say, "Is someone there?"
28. Begin snoring
29. Gleefully explain that "they" have come for you and that you are going to a better place
2. When they call back, Tell them this is the devil’s residence
3. Tell them she/he can’t come to the phone right now as they are in deep meditation and may stay that way for days.
4. Start telling them about the wonderful encyclopedias you have in stock.
5. Start telling them your life story
6. Tell them about your intense hatred for salespeople, then ask where they live
7. Reply to all their questions in song
8. Ask for someone who can translate pig Latin, as you speak no other language
9. Hand the phone to the youngest member of the house (under 5)
10. As soon as they name the corporation they represent begin barking relentlessly
11. Start trying to give them a psychological analysis
12. Demand that they refer to you as Dr. Chopsticks
13. Proudly describe what you found in your ear this morning
14. Ask them what color underwear they are wearing today
15. Describe your socks in detail
16. Interrupt them repeatedly to describe the beauty of your new toaster
17. Whiningly tell thing that it is past your bedtime
18. Midway through the conversation say, "oh no Phil! You’ve done it again! I told you that knife was too sharp! Where are we going to get the money for another funeral?"
19. Ask them repeatedly if they believe in antelopes
20. Refuse to answer any of their questions, as they may be one of THEM!
21. Ask them what they think would happen if you put a frog in a blender later tell them they were wrong
22. Ask them for their phone number so that you can call them back and chat some more
13. Burst into tears when they try to hang up and scream "Don’t leave Me!"
24. Tell them about the time when you got stuck in the doggy door
25. When they ask to speak to you spend a long time trying to decide if that really is your name and after you realize it is ask them to remind you of it occasionally
26. Proudly explain that they are the first person that you have spoken to since you return to Earth
27. In the middle of the conversation start humming the sesame street theme song, when they try to speak sound surprised and say, "Is someone there?"
28. Begin snoring
29. Gleefully explain that "they" have come for you and that you are going to a better place
Love this, laughed 'til my belly hurt! A friend used this one: "He's out slopping the pigs, can you wait while I get him?"
ReplyDeleteSome of the good adult blogs listed here:
DeleteSona Heiden aka Sona Aunty
Busty Models
Porn Stars
Adult Jokes
Playboy Girls
Sexy Girls
Pink Porn Stars
My fave, try to sell them something. I had a coworker who, whenever she got a sales call would convince the caller they needed 'storage' which is what we were selling. Amazing how far ppl will string you along for a sale...
ReplyDeleteMy step-dad used to pretend to be Santa Claus when telemarketers called. He would get all mad and say that he had deadlines to make before Christmas, and the elves were slacking, etc. We would have to cover our mouths to keep from bursting out laughing.
ReplyDeleteSomeone called me asking for my parents and I burst out in tears and said I was an orphan, my parents left me on a doorstep(pretending of course). When they tried to console me I pretended to get more upset telling them I'd been in therapy for years and I was over it until they called me. They ended up taking me off the list and I never got a call again :)
ReplyDeleteMy dad always asks if they have an appt to.speak to whomever they are requesting. They usually stammer .....uh...ummm..no. then he will ask if they would like to make one! :)
ReplyDeleteI tell them that there is no one here and that they are imagining this conversation. Or I tell them my house is on fire
ReplyDeletewhen they kept calling all day and on the caller id it showed they called 3 times in a row 5 times a day so when i finally was home, i pretended to be elderly and hard of hearing and told them all about my new life alert button, the calls finally come maybe once or twice a day now
ReplyDeleteI would answer the phone and yell hello a couple times and finally explain that I would.have to speak to someone who knew sign language because I was deaf.... They weren't sure what to say xD
ReplyDeleteI work at a call centre, and let me tell you that we all dislike you as much as you dislike us. A couple of these are funny, but most of them we hear all the time. Just ask to be taken off the list. That's all you need to do. Because most of these will result in us calling you back, if for no reason other than spite. :P
ReplyDeleteyeah, because the last time i did that they kept calling.
DeleteWe don't dislike telemarketers. we hate them. These are hilarious ways for us to annoy them back while gaining some entertainment in the process. :) They keep calling back, we'll always be ready for em with a new one. :P
DeleteEven asking them to take you off their list doesn't work, I have done that multiple times and we still get calls repeatedly from the same annoying companies.
DeleteI also work at a call center. surveys tho, not sales. I find these hilarious. I wish more people would say these to me, it'd make work more entertaining. Lighten up a bit.
Delete:)
DeleteI try to remember the sales people on the other side are people - real people trying to earn a paycheck. Of course, that makes it even harder to say no thank you, no thank you, I'm sorry, have a good day, hang up.
Not true. I'm always as polite as possible, and EVERYTIME I try to ask to be taken off a list, the caller hangs up before I can even kindly make my request. Seems incredibly rude and unnecessary to me considering YOU are the one that called ME. Find a real job, one that actually benefits society.
DeleteYou know, if you really dislike us that much, the obvious solution is pretty simple: just don't call. That way we can both avoid a conversation we don't want to have.
Deleteya i find these hilarious but at the same time the person you're talking to doesn't care to sincerely sale you something, it's a job and they're trying to get paid so i feel bad. if i was talking to the company owner than this stuff would be really funny.i just cant harass someone too much who is like me and just trying to have a job
DeleteWoah. Some of you need to learn to spell. :)
DeleteI hope you all realize that telemarketers get paid by how long they're on the phone call, not what they sell. They are prohibited from hanging up the phone - why would they want to anyways if they get paid by the length of conversation? You can babble to them all you want. It's not being rude - you're actually helping them earn money, not depriving them of it. My friend used to work as a telemarketer and he lived it when people talked on and on to him because it made his job easier. :)
DeleteI asked plenty of times to be taken off the list, land they say its out of their hands, hang up, and I get another call a few days later. So, no, just by asking to be taken off the list doesn't work.... I heard of a prank of being a cop investigating the house of who they are calling. Will be using that one. Oh, and if you hate calling us as much as we hate getting your call, don't call! Find a real job!
DeleteJust so you know, it's whoa, not woah. Plus, these are very funny. I'm sure it's hard to work as a telemarketer, but if I had to work that job, I would much rather talk to funny people than angry people.
DeleteThat is impersonating a law enforcement officer which is a criminal offense. You will be charged with it, every state is different for the penalty. Some states classify it as a misdemeanor while others are a felony. Keep this is mind.
DeleteSaying to someone (who called you) that your the police is not punishable under the law. What is punishable is if you are attempting to defraud and cause harm (any harm, not just physical) to someone through that impersonation. So no ones going to jail for lieing to a telemarketer! Lighten up!!!
DeleteIt is a real job. I work for the call center at the college I go to. It's a campus job, doesn't interfere with my classes, and pays for my groceries. Sometimes people are so rude to me that I want to cry. There's absolutely no reason to be mean to telemarketers. Just ask to be taken off the list, we have a button for it.
Deletei worked doing outbound surveys for a while while in college. its no fun. hands down most boring, unfulfilling job ever but it helped to pay the bills and didnt interfere with my classes (i could lay out my books at my desk and do homework WHILE I WORKED!!!) and while i do find this list funny, and wish they'd been used on me (i got paid by the hour and would've had a blast playing along with this!) over the phone sales jobs are usually paid largely by commission, and the people who work at these places range from students to seniors who are retired (next time u rage on a telemarketer, imagine how ud feel if someone talked to your parents or grandparents that way). also, asking to be put on the do not call list should stop THAT company form calling you back. if not next time ask to speak with a manager. aside from all this maybe some of you need to realize the reality of the situation; many people dont have a job or are underemployed because they cant find better work, but they're doing what they must.
DeleteMr Anonymous. I was going to say the same thing. I worked at a call center while I was in college. At least I was working. Unemployment is so high right now that at least I had a job. Some of these are funny but the one threatening the worker is not funny at all. I've had that happen before and it is more annoying than anything else. And whining to them that is past your bedtime (or calling them a c*** or a little s*** or f*** because it is "past your bedtime") Is not cute either. I'm just doing a job so pipe down and control yourself.
DeleteIf you're getting a call from the same company ask to talk to the manger. But you do have to say the exact words "Do Not Call Me" or " Put Me on Your Do Not Call List." I was never allowed to put someone on the do not call list just because they were angry at me for calling.
I used to give my little brother the phone and tell him it was Santa to ask what he wanted for Christmas.
ReplyDeletemy friend used to give the phone to her toddler and tell him to say he had to go poopoo ;)
ReplyDeleteI have asked them what their plans were for later and if they wanted to come over for dinner.
ReplyDeleteJust ask to be placed on their internal Do Not Call list. By law they have to do it. Don't ask to be "taken off the list" they have thousands with your name on it. And be polite. They are just trying to feed their families, just like you.
ReplyDeleteyeah ryt..we are just working for our families and thisis not an easy job
DeleteMy house is on the do not call list and we still get calls so we no longer answer them. I answered one today because they called 5 times in an hour. I hung up when they answered. Our other favorite is to ask them to wait a minute and then set the phone down and walk away, or ask if they are selling products to get blood out of carpet.
ReplyDeleteWhen ask to be removed from the calling list, it doesn't happen right that moment. It takes at least 30 to 45 days to get all records updated.
ReplyDeleteI always pretend Im Osama bin ladin.
ReplyDeleteWell, you cant do that now, lol. He's dead :C
Deletethat would make it all the more creepy
DeleteEven if you are on the "Do not call" list, you will still get calls from every charity known to man! Repeatedly. Even if you tell them you can't donate at this time they go on and on and on. If you don't want us being smart asses to you, then take no for an answer the first time I say it!
ReplyDeleteAmen to that!
DeleteI work for a charity. And you would be surprised at the amount of people that say yes when asked a second time. You shouldn't be rude to telemarketers. We are people too. It pays the bills, and puts food in my babys belly, and clothes on her back. Try to remember, we dont do what we do, solely for the purpose of irritating you. We all have our reasons, whether it is to put ourselves through school, a second job to pay the bills, or extra money to spoil your grandkids.
DeleteThey donated on the second call to get you to stop calling them. Calling back repeatedly to get a donation is obnoxious. Maybe some people say no, thanks because they already donated?
DeleteRegardless of why telemarketers take the job, they know ahead of time the majority of people have negative feelings towards telemarketers! Telemarketers have been arounds forever and aren't going away anytime soon! Everybody relax and have some fun....we wont be getting these calls from real people for much longer, take advantage of a non computer person on the other side!! Its hilarious, entertaining and better than someone being angry and hurtful towards them!
DeleteThe university my husband formerly attended used to call several times a day asking for donations, waking my sleeping baby several times. I said no many times, but they said they must speak to him directly. The next time they called, I said " He's not here! That bastard ran off with some blonde, left me with 3 children and hasn't paid me a dime of child support. If you find him, please let me know!"... I never heard from them again:)
DeleteOne time I was a sales person and a good prank was pulled on me. I asked for who I wished to talk to and they kept handing the phone off to a different person. I had to repeat myself about 4 or 5 times. I got a good kick out of it, and, really, it made my day. I didn't last long at that job.
ReplyDeletelol i always change my accent when talking to telemarketers..i go through like 5 different accents and they always sound so lost haha
ReplyDeleteSince Im in the US and the election is really soon, we keep getting calls asking who we are going to vote for for the president. I told one of them that I didnt know who Obama(our current president) was and then convinced her that I didnt know what the presidents job was. she eventually hung up.
ReplyDeleteMy husband answers the phone with a booming and jolly, "HELLO!" when he sees a toll free number come up. He lets them speak for a few moments and then in an angry voice just starts screaming, "NO, NO, NO..." louder and louder and then hangs up. We have a good laugh. Sometimes he puts on high-pitched voices and accents and says ridiculous things. Now we look forward to telemarketers bc of the fun we have laughing about his antics. :)
ReplyDeleteYou guys are A holes some people get paid if someone is willing to listen, there is no point in being an idiot. If you don't want to talk tell them that you don't want to talk and politely hand up wishing them a nice days. Come on people have some respect and don't lie.
ReplyDeleteThat has NEVER stopped any Telemarketer EVER. Calling someone soliciting money is rude and ridiculous. What person in their right mind would give YOU a holes their personal information or credit card #?? Telemarketing is an obsolete form of advertising and I personally can't wait til it dies out. Good riddance to trash. Just be grateful that people find amusing ways to deal with the rudeness of your constant calling instead harrassing you like you harrass us.
DeleteI always pretend to misunderstnad them and ask in a loud voice * YOU WANT TO HAVE PHONE SEX WITH ME???? then I holler hey Don this guy wants to have phone sex with me so come and talk to him!!
DeleteTelemarketing is actually very effective. That's why it hasn't died out. I work for a college call center. I'm 19. I promise you that I don't call people to irritate them; I do it because it pays and it's a campus job. If you ask to be put on the do not call list, we'll do it. But if you're just rude, we have to call back even though we don't want to...it's our job.
DeleteUgh. Enough with the sad-eyed, tear-filled stories about being a telemarketer! You're young, and you still have a fighting chance. Get a job that you actually LIKE. Who cares if your campus job is "respectable" or not? You obviously HATE it, and you HATE the way people sound on the other end. I really hope you weren't naive enough to think that people enjoy getting calls from telemarketers before you signed up for the job!?!? If you're this unhappy with it, try your hand at something else. If that's not an option for you right now, try to lighten up and get some entertainment out of it. It won't kill you to de-personalize it. Sheesh.
DeleteDamn, I wish I was brave enough to do it... I always imagine random people hunting me down for pranking them...
ReplyDeleteI pretend to either be blind or not able to read if they are selling subscriptions for newspapers, magazines etc.
ReplyDeleteIf they are calling for donations for some disease research, I say "how did you know I had that disease? I thought that was confidential information" act all mad and they apologize and don't call back. Once, they were calling to offer me life insurance and I said sure that will come in handy now that I have stage 4 lung cancer. I know these responses seem mean, but some days I get eight to ten calls in a single day.
Plug in a fax machine & let the fax answer.
ReplyDeleteI always answer in a fake chinese dialect and then tell them they are fat lazy amerwican and we taking over stupid country make you slaves
ReplyDeleteWhen they ask for __________ I get real quiet and subdued, and say "I'm sorry, she's no longer with us." everyone always assumes that means death, and not something like oh she is at the store or in the other room.
ReplyDeletehmmm...guess we know what they say about people who assume...
as an employee who gets mistaken for this all the time i would just like to say please make sure the person you're annoying isn't selling anything before you start to take your aggression or boredom out on us.
ReplyDeleteI have one that calls a 5 times a day, everyday for the last four years. I'm disabled so my answering machine is always on...they never leave a message. Just wait till the message is complete and then hand up. I don't even bother to walk to the phone as there call's are like clock work as far as time goes.
ReplyDeleteThe other day I had had a horrid day and by call 4 I needed to take my frustration out on somebody. I pick it up and never gave them a chance to speak...just yelled you have my number, you have my name and you have called here five times a day for 4 god damn years. If whatever you had to say was that freaking important why do you just speak! Better yet, if about a year of me ignoring you...you have everything you need to know about me..mail a f...ing letter. And I slammed the phone while screaming stupid morons.
ya don't have to cuss at 'em! just ask nicely!
DeleteI work for a alarm monitoring co. so when we call to inform them of the alarm people get mad act stupid and think were trying to sell something. So when they get home and someone broke in or alarm is going off and call us mad because we didn't call....then we get to laugh and say well you didn't want to hear it
ReplyDeleteonce a college tutor called me and i said HEY I JUST MET U AND THIS IS CRAZY BUT I HAVE A DOVE THAT IS A BABY
ReplyDeleteyall be some pussies
ReplyDeleteWhen I see on my caller id an obvious telemarketer, I pick up the phone and say in a very smooth, professional voice "federal Do Not Call List compaint hotline, how can I help you?"
ReplyDeletewe used to get telemarketers call our house all the time. One day my cousin answered and said to them "house of insanity, head nut speaking?" it was hilarious. He kept saying "yes, this is the head nut" etc. the other person didn't know what to think. It was hilarious.
ReplyDeletewow. i am so doing this next time!
ReplyDeleteYou realize number 23 says number 13...? oh and more importantly these are awesome, and honestly hearing clean and funny jokes like this probably brightens the telemarketers day (not speaking from experience but I know when someone comes into work and pulls a harmless prank on me it makes for fun stories and usually makes my day and I work at a fastfood restaurant!!) They are PRANKS, and they are HARMLESS. There's no reason to be up in arms about little harmless jokes. However, there is no reason to cuss out telemarketers either and I agree that THAT is not very nice
ReplyDeleteMy brother would always answer the phone with "yellow?" And then when they start talking he'd start yelling other colors like "RED, BLUE, GREEN, ORANGE, PURPLE!"And then proceed to hang up.
ReplyDeleteI personally have nothing against telemarketers, but these days it is so easy for people to disguise their caller ID, that people regularly are scammed of their personal info under the guise that they're donating to charity. Sorry for distrusting someone I can't see who can't prove their identity.
ReplyDeleteIt's just people doing their job, like you do yours. At least they're trying to earn their money instead of thinking they're entitled to government money.
ReplyDeleteThe heck with telemarketers...most that I've come into contact with aren't worth the time to hunt them down to kill them. I don't care who you are, if the only J-O-B you can get is by calling people you don't know & annoying them....you are one sorry human being & you deserve any & everything I do to annoy YOU....that includes blowing a loud whistle into the phone or causing some electronic distortion that fries your ear. Go ahead curse me, I couldn't care less.
ReplyDeleteYou sir, are a douche.
DeleteFunny because I make $40k a year...
DeleteOnly 40K?
DeleteWell, don't know what you making 40K a year has to do with you being a douche, but I make 80K a year, just so you know. (;
DeleteAll I know is I don't find any of these to be even remotely funny. the things that pass for humor these days. I used to be a telemarketer, and I will admit, I'm sure it can get quite annoying getting calls from a telemarketer, but the thing is, I was always kind and courteous over the phone. I did telemarketing for a communications company and we always called people that were already customers with us. More than 75% of the time, the deal that I was selling was better in terms of value AND price than what they were already set up with. The problem was that everyone automatically assumed I was out to screw them as hard as possible, so they nearly always treated me like I was the scum of the earth, even though I could have helped them had they just treated me like a real human being and listened to what I had to say. Some of the people on here are absolute monsters.
ReplyDelete"The heck with telemarketers...most that I've come into contact with aren't worth the time to hunt them down to kill them. I don't care who you are, if the only J-O-B you can get is by calling people you don't know & annoying them....you are one sorry human being & you deserve any & everything I do to annoy YOU....that includes blowing a loud whistle into the phone or causing some electronic distortion that fries your ear. Go ahead curse me, I couldn't care less."
Really dude? Do you know every persons situation in life? This is the exact thing I'm talking about. People need to learn some humility.
I'm just doing what I have to, to survive through another day. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that.
I understand you need to live but occasionally I do use one of these. And the salesperson laughs with me! We get a good kick out of it... :) I don't do it to be rude. Oh and you don't need to swear at them.
ReplyDeleteI suggest you just get rid of the comments
ReplyDeleteGood idea
DeleteMy favorite is when they say that according to their records i have diabetes. I say no but i now have hemoroids cuz they are being a pain in my butt. I usually am nice about it when they call her but when they lie that makes me mad.
ReplyDeleteNo. No. No. I work B2B sales and here is the deal. I only call you once a month for probably five months TOPS (if you are a trucker.) I don't want to waste my time calling you if you are not interested or if I have the wrong number so politely tell me so and I will put you RIGHT ON OUR DO NOT CALL LIST. No reason to be rude.
ReplyDeleteThere is a reason to be rude. I am on the do not call list and you've opbtained and called my number illegally. So, What I do is act interested and keep them strung along for as long as possible. I make them think that they're my new best friend. And when it's time to finalize the deal and give them personal info, I just say that my # is on the do not call list. I then ask them how that felt to have their time wasted. Not rude, just instant karma. And if you hate your job......
ReplyDeleteDo Not Call lists do not include organizations you have supported, any non-profit or if you decide to "enter to win" something.
DeleteI left the phone on speaker next to the TV during the Republican Primary debates...I was in the other room folding laundry LOLOL They sat on the phone for almost 15 minutes say ing "Hello?" Haven't called back since.
ReplyDeleteMy cousin's husband actually did #14 to a female caller (the underwear color thing) ... she hung up on HIM! lololol
ReplyDeleteOr even better, a friend of mine, when he was called by a telemarketer, convinced them that he was a top Disney Imagineer. They actually started to buy it. IT WAS HILARIOUS! He was going on and on about it, that he "made bank" and how he didn't need whatever they were selling and if they had anything else he'd be interested in buying it. We were in a van with 13 other kids and the rest of us practically DIED laughing! It was SOOO funny!
ReplyDeleteAnd seriously people, there's no reason to cuss out telemarketers. js.
I say, "You've reached the ________ residence! Please hang up after the click!" and then I hang up hehe - evil but fun :)
ReplyDeleteMy husband was getting calls from some company looking for some chick, and they kept calling and calling, they even got rude with him after he asked them not to call his number, the woman they were calling for must of owed them big or something because they never quit, even when he was polite, after the 20th call he started getting rude right back
ReplyDeleteThere is no reason try to hurt everyone's feelings. If you are angry, try to understand the other person. Don't be rude. I think everyone who has added angry comments or reply needs to back off. Nobody is physically hurting you. You will live. Chill.
ReplyDeleteOh and to all you telemarketers, I've been seriously wondering if it is possible for me to call you back? Like if I changed my mind (or found a better joke if I'm in the joking mood and need a laugh?) And is it possible to send the number of someone who answered angrily to an office rival or that of someone who answered with a good joke to a friend who needs a good laugh?
Kitten up everyone.
Oops!I meant lighten up everyone!lol
ReplyDeleteI have rick rolled the persistent ones...
ReplyDeleteI worked a short time as a telemarketer only bc I needed money to pay bills until the paychecks at my new permanent job kicked in. I hated it, mostly because I hate telemarketers. Part of me is ashamed that I held that job, but at least I had a job and was being responsible rather than relying on society to support me. That being said, these are hilarious!! =)
ReplyDeleteMy Name is John. I will love to share my testimony to all my friends because i never believe i will have my girlfriend back. When i called her she never picked my calls,She deleted me on her Facebook and she changed her Facebook status.when i went to her to her place of work she told her friends she never want to see me.I tried all i could do to have her back with me but all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to meet my aunt.I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how she embarrass me in her place of work,he told me he is going to help me but don't believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him,he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back home the following day and i called him when i got home,he said he is busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 3 days that is Thursday. My girlfriend called me at exactly 10:35am on Thursday and apologies for all she had done, she said she never knew what she's doing she promised not to do that again.It was like am hallucinating when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my girlfriend called me on phone apologies. Am posting this to the forum for everybody that is interested in meeting the man for help this is his email address :Ancientijebudespelltemple@gmail.com All i have to say is THANK YOU DOCTOR.
ReplyDeleteHe will not call nor come and visit me,and when i see him i will continue to complain and don't have my time and when i ask him if i offend him,he will say no and i don't know why he keep on doing this to me. I love him so much that i cant let him go or lose him for another girl, i always cry both day and night.I will still go to him and apologize,the problem i was having with him over some month ago is that he don't pick my calls and don't want to see me,he will go around telling people that i am pest to his life,and also tell them to tell me that he don't love me again.And this is a man that we have have been dating for over three years and now he thorn me down,but i give glory to ancientijebudespelltemple@gmail.com who find in this forum and he was faithful and able to solve my problem for me.Now i am happy he his back to me and he treated me like a baby
ReplyDeleteHello,everyone my name is mlmvc from USA i never ever believed in spell until i meet a man called Dr upesa, who help me cast a spell that bring back my ex-lover who left me for one years before our marriage,His spells works beyond my imaginations and today i am happily married two kids and me and my [ex-lover] now husband are very happy more than ever before,what more can i say rather than to say thank you Dr upesa for been there for me,contact him today and your life will never ever remain the same his email is upesaspelltemple@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteIf they call for my husband I ask are they the one he slept with? Are they trying to trick me to get him to the phone? If its a man calling , they hang up fast but some women keep talking so I then tell them I kicked him to the curb because of her! Lol Then they do not know what to say and hang up!
ReplyDeleteWhen I answer an obvious telemarketer call, I like to say in a very professional voice, "County morgue, how can I help you?" then when they ask for someone, say, "Ummm, they can't come to the phone anymore. So sorry!" and hang up.
ReplyDeleteGet them to come and see you in person at home - Then you can be realy creative
ReplyDeleteIve been doing sales for 3+ years. Im in my 20s and am trying to pay my way through college while living on my own. Unfortunatley without a degree and based on an hourly and comissions it is the best paying jobs at the moment. A do not call list for businesses doesnt exist. So before you business owners get your pannys in a bunch theres nothing i can do about it. And on the contrary just because phone sales isnt efficent on YOU doesnt mean its no efficent. Ive had customers donate and purchasr over 10,000 dollars worth of product. If you knew anything about sales....its a game of numbers. Why would i chase dead leads? The more new numbers i call the better im off. Im a smart capable human being who is fully capable of understanding "not interested". As far as any of these posts go...i think itd be pretty funny....but for any of you non telemarketing individuals that want to insult my intelligence this ones for you. Besides its just as easy for me to pass your number around the office for and infinite amount of calls if you want to be a raging douche. Life is full of douches so answering the phone and telling something i already know just kinda validates my point.
ReplyDeleteWe need to look at this for exactly what it is.
ReplyDeleteIt is extremely RUDE to call a stranger who has NOT GIVEN YOU PERMISSION ...
.I mean really , if someone I KNOW wants to call , they politely ASK IF THEY MAY CALL , and if i say yes then they politely ask for my number.
You are way way out of line to call me , interupt me from what you dont know and you obviously do not care.
It is a crummy way to make a buck, truly crummy. I know of NO ONE who wants you to interupt them .
A TOTAL STRANGER invading my home with an unasked for call, that I did not give my number or permission for you to call.
Use your brain , if your parents did not teach you any better ive just now schooled you.
I like to prank sales people. One of them was pretending to be Buddy the Elf. I said, "Hello? Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?" Another one that I enjoy is making beeping noises until they hang up. My final one that I did was to this very sassy lady, asking for my sister. I spoke calmly to her, but I took a pause, thought about it and said, "Ain't nobody got time for that!"
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We (my husband and I) never answer the land line. We let the children do it. They come up with some pretty creative things. The last thing that made me laugh really hard was my twelve year old... upon being asked to speak To the Mr. or Mrs. of the house... took on a demented possed voice and screech whispered "Noooooooooo" and hung up. I was so surprised and creeped out that I couldnt stop laughing for five minutes. She's so funny.
ReplyDeleteAnd to the people who say "Just ask to be taken off the list"... I've done that on so many occasions it's ridiculous and was told by one rude person "We dont even have a list. You dont know what you're talking about" so I think I'll continue to let my children come up with creative ways to get them to stop calling, since respectfully declining doesnt work in real life.
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ReplyDeleteI once had a window company call to sell me a house full of windows. I told her I didn't need windows because I lived in a cardboard box. To my surprise she asked if I needed a deck to go on the back of my cardboard box! I said no thanks and we both laughed. Try it some time, it's better than getting upset!
ReplyDeleteBy far, THE BEST attitude to take with a telemarketer is the one presented on this video:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTXtl1v8EMY
It's in Spanish, I think it was a prank made on the radio, but still... When the lady calls to offer a new phone line to his house, the "client" first request to check some information of her for "security reasons" (like the number she's calling from, department, worker ID in the company, etc) , or other wise he'd have toh ang up. He then explains every time he has to call to the phone company he's requested to give any number of different information to ID him and to every different person he gets transfered to; also repeat the history of his problem to every single analyst in the call center, in complaints, in client service, etc... When the caller gives im her worker ID, he tells her he has to "check the information" and "to please hold for a minute"... AND HE ACTUALLY PLAYS CLASSICAL MUSIC!!! I LOVE this!
When she talks again he clarifies that "all the residents of the house are busy right now, please hold" and later that "our system is a bit slow right now"
After that he asks her what was her request again, and then explains that it's his wife the one in charge of "new aquisitions in the household and to please hold"
The wife takes over and asks all her information again, name, last name, phone number, worker ID, and the reason of the call. I must say, the lady of the phone company is polite AND patient! She gives all the information once again...
The wife explains her that she's going to register the call and the request in the family's program for new aquisitions and in a few days they'd get back in touch with her... When she instructs the caller to wirte down the number of the register is when the caller finally hangs up!
hahahahaha, this is by far the best comeback I've heard! I think it can be adapted to any number of situations of telemarketing!