Wednesday, September 12, 2012

100 Fun things to do in an Elevator

1. Make race car noises when people get on and off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while slapping your forehead and muttering, "Shut up dammit, all of you just SHUT UP!"
4. Whistle the first 7 notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout Cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask, "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear your upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper, "Ever had a Wet Willy?"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral."
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on."
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Burp, then say, "Mmmmm.....tasty!"
21. Meow occasionally.
22. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
23. Frown and mutter, "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "oops!"
24. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
25. Sing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" while continuously pushing buttons.
26. Holler, "Chutes away!!" whenever the elevator descends.
27. Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.
28. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a hand puppet and talk to the other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
34. Play the accordion.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say, "I wonder what all these do?" and then push ALL the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger, "Wanna see wha in muh mouf??"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket a clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting bigger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil fiercely and scream, "BAD TOUCH!"


  1. Replies
    1. its still really funny though i was like crying by number 15!

  2. Where's the rest??????

  3. Some one doesn't know how to count to 100.

  4. This stuff is hilarious, need to try this in a place where I will never return :D

  5. omg either they cant count to 100, theyre total idiots, this is part 1 orrrr the joke was that theres only 50

  6. Question And Answer Jokes -------

    Q: What happens when you tell a joke to an egg?
    A: It cracks up laughing!
    Q: Why does a tiger have stripes?
    A: So he won’t be spotted.
    Q: When is a man like a dog?
    A: When he is a boxer.
    Q: A nickel, dime and quarter are on a table. The nickel and dime jump off. Why didn’t the quarter?
    A: It had more cents.
    Q: What do you call a calf after it’s six months old?
    A: Seven months old.
    Q: What did the teddy bear say after dinner?
    A: I’m stuffed!
    Q: Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fire?
    A: So that he could sleep like a log.
    Q: What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
    A: Wet feet.
    Q: Why were the strawberries upset?
    A: Because they were in a jam!
    Q: What kind of music do most mountains like?
    A: Rock music.
    Q: What is a boxer’s favourite part of a joke?
    A: The punch line.
    Q: What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?
    A: Bugs Bunny.
    Q: What do you call a pig that does karate?
    A: A pork chop.
    Q: What did the skeleton buy at the market?
    A: Spare ribs!
    Q: What did Tarzan say to Jane after a hard day at the office?
    A: “You know, it’s a jungle out there!”
    Q: Why couldn’t the girl open the jar?
    A: Because it was jammed
    Q: What kind of person likes to have friends for lunch?
    A: A cannibal.
    Q: What do you call two old tailors?
    A: An old sew-and-sew.
    Q: How would you describe a man that is doing well in the boiled sweet business?
    A: He’s a guy that’s made a mint.
    Q: Why did the cowboy die with his boots on?
    A: He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket.
    Q: What did the traffic cop give to a shepherd that drove his flock through town?
    A: A ticket for making a ewe turn.
    Q: What type of women is easy?
    A: Archaeologists! They will date any old thing.
    Q: What do Spanish farmers say to their chickens?
    A: “Ole!”
    Q: What’s the definition of a male Porn Actor?
    A: A man that is a rising star.
    Q: What is a Nymphomaniac Nudists favorite song?
    A: I’m in the Nude for Love!
    Q: What did Adam call his wife on the night before Christmas?
    A: Christmas Eve
    Q: What did Rudolph say to the other reindeer before telling them a joke?
    A: “This one will sleigh you.”
    Q: What kind of water conditions does Santa for surfing?
    A: A Yuletide.
    Q: What do American right-wingers think about Joseph Stalin’s grave?
    A: It a Communist Plot!

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  7. Its not 100 but it will do but very funny I REALLY want to try it

  8. I like the one with the demonic voice. only I would say " my precious!"

  9. I think the 100 is a joke too. :D

  10. Haha, I am SSSOOO gonna try this on the way to the top of my 29 story apartment building!!!!!

  11. How 0.01 cents becomes worth billions of billions dollars

  12. I laughed so hard at 28, gonna have to try it.

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