My Last Post for the year Appreciate everyone for liking My Blog and all your SUpport and Making 2011 great success!!

Wish You all a very happy New Year and Great fun ahead


Keep Coming and commenting your support and feedback mean a lot to me

Happy 2012 :D

You, Slary Why are you not growing all your friends are now grown up! - Fuel Bread Meat

Sardar couple havin shower together... Girl: Do bad things to me......

Sardar Puts soap in her eyes

A Hypnotist hypnotised d whole audience in a hall with a pendulum.... Suddenly, d pendulum fell dwn!!

He said "FxcK"

Can u imagine the mess after that.....??

Charging for Party - Happy New Year 2012 to all my Followers and Readers!!

Who Took My Phone ..... It's in your hand. OK

Baby .. you don't want to die a virgin, do you.. um.. that line only workds if I'M about to die.

Please GOD, if you cant make me think, Make my friends FAT!!!

Just gonna stand there and watch me roar but thats alright because I am a Dinosaur!!

I know 9 things about you right now.

1. You are reading this.
2. You are human.
3. You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips ...
4. You just attempted to do it...
6. You are laughing at yourself. See ur teeth :D
7. You have a smile on your face and you skipped No.5
8. You just checked to see if there is a No.5 
9. You are still smiling :)
10. You'll probably Share this to see who else falls for it :P

Kevins New Year's resolution to Quit Smoking!!

Dave, at a New Year's party, turns to his friend, Kevin, and asks for a cigarette.

'I thought you made a New Year's resolution to quit smoking,' Kevin responds.

'I'm in the process of quitting,' replies Dave with a grin.

'Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.'

'Phase one?' wonders Kevin.

'Yeah,' laughs Dave, 'I've quit buying.'

On New Years eve If you are happy and you know it slap your friends.

When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year

I gave up thinking :P

On New Year's Eve, Peter was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home.

As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman.

'What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer.

'I'm on my way to a lecture,' answered Peter.

'And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year's Eve?' enquired the constable sarcastically.

'I agree, but my wife will,' slurred Peter grimly.

There's a man sitting at a bar on New Years Eve, just looking at his drink for half an hour.

Then, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.

The poor man starts crying...

The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking.

Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand seeing a man crying."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life.

First, I fall asleep, and I'm late to my office.

My boss, in an outrage, fires me.

When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen.

The police say they can do nothing.

I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there.

The cab driver just drives away.

I go home and when I get there, I find my wife sleeping with the gardener.

I leave home and come to this bar.

And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

This is just a friendly reminder about drinking and driving over the festive and new year season.

I went out last night and left my car at the pub and took the bus home. 


I was very proud of myself this morning; I had never driven a bus before...

This is my New Year Resolution Kill Fats DIe Potato

At a New Years party, someone yelled: All married guys plz stand next to one person who has made ur life worth living.:)

The bartender was almost crushed to death ;)

The bank just sent me a letter saying that my payments are "outstanding"!

I wrote back "Thank you! I am flattered !! :p

I'm James Bond, I'm Rambo and I'm Sorry!!

You Rock You Rule :D

Ever since SxX became easy to get,

LOVE became difficult to find! :D

On Christmas Eve Cutest proposal ever by A boy!!

Boy: can I take ur photo.


Girl:why? 


Boy: so I can show santa what I want for christmas.! ;)

This Christmas Go easy on the food, sxx and alcohol,

Remember its Jesus's birthday not yours :p

If you woke up on Christmas morning with a weird taste in your mouth.

Remember Santa only cums once a year

The Dancing Party Santa Merry Christmas - Merry Christmas :D

Blackberry Santa Or BB Santa Icon Font ... Merry Christmas!!

Dear Santa What do you want for Christmas?

Regards,
Rajnikant Lmfao :P

Merry Christmas May the Fat Santa Clause fill happiness and love in your life more than the weight on his belly

Thank you all my supporters and fans for making my blog successful for all you lovely comments and appropriation Merry Christmas to you and a Super party Ahead :D

Spread the Laughter xx 

Original Jingle bells

Dear Santa Claus I've been good all year :) ... Ok most of the time

Ok fine once in a while :( 

Fxxck it,

I'll buy my own stuff!

Little girl to Santa Clause how come i never see you in Church

Awkward eye contact with stranger Awkward eye contact with cute stranger

3 impossibilities in the world you cant do Physically

You cant count your hair


You cant wash your eyes with soap.


You cant breathe when your tongue is out




Now please put your tongue back inside, you look like a dog :p

The Most Important Three Phases Of Love :

1 XOXO.


2 XXX. 


3 EX.

A handsome Sardar was waiting 4 d bus. Don't laugh, d joke doesn't ends here.

There can b gud-luking sardars as well.

Anyways, a Girl in car stopped by him & askd-"Do u want a lift?"

Sardar- "No thanx. My home is on GROUND-FLOOR."

Why am I hungry all the time?

Susie wants to win an MTV Music Award. Jimmy Wants his own reality show. Molly wants implants, lipo and an entourage. Doesnt anyone want toys anymore :S

Man on death bed confesses 2 wife :- I had affairs with ur sister, with ur friend & even with maid

WIFE : I know darling, Now relax & let d poison work..

During Christmas New York- The city that never sleeps

With the same person twice !!!:p

Be nice to FAT people one day they might save your life!!

What If I don't want to work today?!

What do you call a santa clause who doesn't give u anything?

Ghanta clause!! :D

It's a romantic full moon Christmas Evening when pedro wants to do WeeWeeChu

Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu.

"Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita.

Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.

"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon." replied Rosita.

Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me.

"Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu.

"Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang....."Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.

"ADVANCE CHRISTMAS WISHES! ( How cute, isn't it?) ;;)

Listen to me I make you Unapproachable

Blonde: I was born in the U.S.

Friend: Oh really, what part?
Blonde: All of me, silly

Hear about the blonde explorer?

He bought a piece of sandpaper thinking it was a map of the Sahara Desert.

Do you know how to make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Job at the FBI - The FBI had an opening for an assassin

After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists;
Two men and a woman. 

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of The men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 
'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting In a chair..... . Kill her!!' 

The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' 
The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.' 

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room.
All was Quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You dont have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.' 

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the Same instructions, to kill her husband.

She took the Gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one After another.
They heard screaming, crashing, Banging on the walls.
After a few minutes, all was Quiet.

The door opened slowly and there stood the Woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. 
'This gun is loaded with fake bullets ' she said.
'I had to Beat him to death with the chair.' 


MORAL: Women are crazy & Don't mess with them...

Waiting for the Perfect Man..

No one wins over a Lawyer..! Even something called A WIFE.

A Married Lawyer catching fun in his car, with his secretary.

On getting home his wife observed panties on the back seat,

She tore it apart screaming "honey what is this ??" >:O 
He calmly replied : "you have just destroyed the evidence of the rape case, worth a million for me which I'm handling. You can forget the jewellery you wanted !!"

She quickly fell on her knees apologising.

No one wins over a Lawyer..! Even something called A WIFE

6 Most funniest fights with the wife all the husbands Laugh and all those eligible bachelors BEWARE!!

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, ‘What’s on TV?’
I said, ‘Dust.’

And then the fight started…
*******************************

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.’
I bought her a weighing scale.

And then the fight started…
******************************

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace Expensive…
So, I took her to a petrol pump

And then the fight started…
****************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and my wife kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked my wife, ‘Do you know him?’
‘Yes,’ She sighed, ‘He’s my old boyfriend.
I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years
ago, and I hear he hasn’t been sober since.’
‘My God!’ I said to my wife, ‘who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’

And then the fight started…
*******************************

My wife is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to me,
‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.’
I replied, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’

And then the fight started…
***************************

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Kingfisher for $4.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $2.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream..

And then the fight started…

Dear Boys If you think your dad, mom, teacher, boss are strict and harsh with you..

Wait for a wife..You would love them All... :p

Bus full of housewives was crashed and everyone died, husbands cried for a week.

A man was still crying after 2weeks
When asked y he still crying?
"MY wife missed d bus" :P

Sxx Is The Only Game In This World, Which Is Never Abandoned

Due To Bad Light..

Indian Definition of Foreplay:

Half an Hour of Serious Begging :p

Why are girls better at catwalk than boys?

Sum Great man replied :-
bcoz there is nothing between the legs to get SQUEEZED...

Here's a brain teaser for you a really difficult one :P

There are 3 rooms
1.Gold Coins
2.Currency Notes
3.Cotton Bags
If the 3 rooms catch FIRE, On which room will the ambulance pour water 1st?
Reply. I'll tel about your IQ.

Dude I am Joking You are Not Adopted

A man posted on his facebook status: Going to sleep on the terrace.........

20 Mosquitoes 'Liked' it.

Lazy Rule Cant Reach it Dont need it

When your alone and nobody watches you put your finger in your nose and one big mucus(solid) piece gets struck in your finger..so where would you discard it?

a) at the corner of the bed..
b) below the sofa..
c) on the wall..
d) or you will make ball of it and flick it in air..

No reply means you've eaten it.... Haha

Best letter written by his Son to his Dad on getting his results - This one is an eye opener for all the Dads :D

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an
Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy..

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so
Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can
get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.. X_X 

I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a Report card That's in my center desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home. :D"

Interesting thing about Tom & Jerry and their swim suit ..???

full day they run here & there naked...
but when going for a swim ,
they don't forget to wear a swim suit....

Dollar going strong - New One Dollar Bill released

What's the similarity between sunny deol n sunny leone?

They both shout a lot in their movies :p

Drinking is not my passion..

its my 1st love's.. last gift..!!

Premarital Sxx without protection is Magic.. Why ?

Because...
The Baby Appears &
The Father Disappears...

Every Drop Of Coffee I Like

Sales Pressure end of the Month Achieve your Tagets!!

A man was sleeping.
Suddenly death angel appeared & said:
Go out & enjoy, nothing will happen to U for NEXT 100 years. Its my Gurantee.
Man go out, met an accident & died.
In the heaven he asked angel:
Why U lied to me?
Angel replied:
Sorry, Month End, had to achieve Target..

Poem on TAJ MAHAL by 3 different kind of people.

BACHELOR
Taqdir hai magar kismat nahi khulti,
Taj Mahal banana chahta hun, Magar Mumtaz nahi MILTI.

LOVER
Taqdir hai magar kismt nahi khulti,
Mumtaz milgai hai,
Magar shadi nahi KARTI.

MARRIED
Taqdir hai magar kismat nahi khulti,
Taj Mahal banana chahta hun, Magar Mumtaz nahi MARTI.....

At Night I cant Sleep. In the morning, I cant Wake up.

Never laugh at your wife's choices, You are one of them.

Never be proud of your choices.
Your wife is one of them.

Top 5 Funny Indian Shop Names-

1.Gandhi Hair Dressers
2.Mallika Textiles
3.Salman Mariage Beuro
4.Dolly Bindra Fitnes Centre
5.Rakhi Sawant satsng kendra

What do you call an Arsenal fan with half a brain ??

Ans: Gifted :P

Husband was throwing darts at his wife's photo and not even one hit the target :P

From the other room comes the wife's voice "Honey what are you doing?"

Husbands reply "Missing you"

Thank God...Kolavari song was sung by Dhanush and not by his Father in law Rajnikanth!!

If it was sung by his Father in Law...
Rajnikanth..it could have been India's
National Anthem by Now:D

Life Boils down to Four Bottles .. I am already in the third one :P

Sxx Is The Only Game In This World

Which Is Never Abandoned Due To Bad Light..

Height of Technology used by a student in an exam:

A Student Writes All Answer As
'lllllllllllll'
and
At last Writes
'Answer are Written In Barcode Format to Protect it from Being Copied'

The UGLY TRUTH of 5 mins :p

In bed, its 6 am, if u close ur eyes for 5 mins, its 7.45 :D

but in office its, 9.40, u close ur eyes for 5 mins , its still 9.41.??

Without a doubt, women are the foundation stone of the society,

but always remember who laid them!

Funny Notice seen outside a Church:

Please do not leave your Purse/Watch/Handbag/Mobile/Girlfreind/Boyfreind unattended. 


Others may think its an answer to their prayers..

Latest A woman finds Aladdin's magic lamp

She starts rubbing it and a Genie comes out as usual.

The woman looks at the Genie and she asks him to grant her a wish:

- I want my husband to have only eyes for me,
- I want to be the only one in his life,
- I want him to sleep always by my side,
- I want that when he gets up in the morning i'm the first thing.
 he grabs and to take me everywhere he goes...."

And whoosh!!! .....The Genie turned her into

A BlackBerry

I Live For the Weekend!!

An elderly French man went to church for confession.

Man : Father during World War II,a young Jewish girl asked me to hide her in my house
Priest: "Good deed my son"
Man:"She started repaying me with daily sxx."
Priest:"If u r truly sorry, den u r forgiven."
Man:"But Father,do u think I should tell her the War is over?"

My Room What I see What My mom see what she describes

How do u feel when a woman gives u a flying kiss..?

Man-I hate such lazy woman!! ;)

Very Interesting naming of our Indian States........... Incredible India

Large state: maha rastra
Place of king: raja sthan
Queen field: rani khet
Mr. city: sri ngr
Rhythm of eyes: nani taal
Face: surat
Unmarried gal: kanya kumri
God's state: hari dwar
Brick city: ita ngr
Saint hair: rishi kesh
Call end: kol kata
No zip: chen nai
Come on sun: arun aa chal
Cum in evning: aa saam
Go n come: go a
and finally do drama: kar natak.....

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, ’You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.
'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'
Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'
The man replied, 'These are Carols.'
And So The Christmas Season Begins......