He broke her heart

She broke his blackberry
.
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.
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I think we all know who cried harder  ;)

Irony of life :

Wives Don't get pregnant after many attempts and Girlfriends get pregnant even after taking precautions !!! 

Can a WOMAN make you a MILLIONAIRE ?

Yes...!!

But
Conditions Apply

You must be a BILLIONAIRE..! ;)

Who said car names don't have meaning

FIAT: Failure in Italian Automotive Technology.

FORD: For Only Rough Drivers.

HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive....

VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object.

PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything.

OPEL: Old People Enjoying Life

TOYOTA: The One You Only Trust, Always.

HONDA: Hung Over, Now Driving Away.


And the last.                                                         


BMW: Brings Me WomeN..

Old people used to annoy me at weddings:

by pinching my cheeks and saying "you are next". They stopped doing that.... When i started doing the same at funerals...!

70 year old man goes to his Doctor & says:

"My 28 year old wife is pregnant, your opinion Doctor?"
Doctor: "Let me tell you a story. A hunter, in a hurry grabs an umbrella instead of the gun. He moves into the jungle, sees a lion, lifts the umbrella, pulls the handle & BANG... The lion drops dead!"
Old man: "That's impossible; someone else must have shot the lion."
Doctor: "MY POINT EXACTLY!!

85 yr old Virgin lady

wantd her grave stone to be writen as:

''Born A Virgin. Lived A Virgin. Died A Virgin''.

The sculptor shortened it To

'PARCEL RETURNED UNOPENED' :)

Worlds Shortest Joke:

2 women were sitting quietly … hahaha

My ex broke up with me

and sent me pictures of her and her newboyfriend in bed together. 


Solution?? 


I sent them to her dad.

Guys are always happy creatures, why ??

Their last name stays with dem forever.

Phone conversations last 30 seconds flat.

A 5 day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.

If someone forgets to invite them, he can still be their friend.

The same hairstyle lasts for years or even decades.

They can do festival shopping for 25 relatives jst 1 day before d festival in 25 mins.

They dont freak out when they go to a party and see anothr man wearng the same shirt, instead they become buddies...

Share This To Women Who Can Handle It,

And

To Men Who'll Enjoy Reading It !!

Always remember:

When SHE cancels a date, it is because.."SHE HAS TO"

But When HE cancels a date, it is because..
"HE HAS TWO"

Waiting for this moment all my life

A Lady broke a traffic signal and was presented before an inspector. 

           

Lady: Sorry, I'm a teacher and was getting late for my class, pls let me go.

Inspector: I was waiting for this moment all my life, now in your book, write down, "I will not break any traffic rules ever" 500 times! :D

Man & wife go to zoo.

In frnt of gorilla cage, man says: excite him as u do to me !
Wife removes her top n gorilla goes crazy.
Man: tease him more, as u do to me.
Wife remove her jeans. Gorilla goes wilder.
Man opens cage and pushes wife in n says:-
NOW TELL HIM, U HAVE HEADACHE & U ARE NOT IN MOOD.

Bill Gates V/S Blonde:

Bill Gates: If i start driving my car @ sunrise, i won't b able 2 cover even half of my estate by sunset!

Blonde: Even i hd such a useless car but i sold it! :)