Sunday, February 27, 2011

Men are good listeners!

Man outside phone booth: excuse me sir, but u have been holding the phone since last 20 mins and u haven't spoken a word!
Man inside: sir, I'm talking to my wife!!!!!

Friday, February 25, 2011

Learn chinese in 5 mins:

This will make u laugh.

1. Thats not right
(Sum Ting Wong)

2. See me ASAP
(Kum Hia Nao)

3. Small horse
(Tai Ni Po Ni)

4. U need a facelift
(Chin Tu Fat)

5. I thought u were on a diet
(Wai Yu Mun Ching)

6. Hes cleaning car
(Wa Shing Ka)

7. Your body odour is offensive
(Yu Stin Ki Pu)

8. This is a tow away zone
(No Pah King)

9. Stupid man
(Dum Fuk)

10. Great!
(Fa Kin Su Pah)

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Kid's dad joined facebook

Kid's status update: Dad on FB...WTF!!!! :X
Dad - what is wtf?? Kid - 'welcome to facebook' dad..:)

Lizard turns into a Crocodile!! HAHA

A koala was sitting on a gum tree smoking a joint when a little
lizard walked past, looked up and said, 'Hey Koala! What are you
doing?'  The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.'  So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they
enjoyed a few joints. After a while the little lizard said that his
mouth was 'dry' and that he was going to get a drink from the river.
The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned over too far and fell
into the river. A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little
lizard and helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard,
'What's the matter with you?' The little lizard explained to the
crocodile that he had been sitting with the koala in the tree, smoking
a joint, but got too stoned and fell into the river while taking a
drink. The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked
into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting
finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,  'Hey you!'
The koala looked down at him and said,  'FAAAAAAK..!!!!!duuuude...  How much water did you drink!?' :p

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Three men were drunk and they stopped a taxi

The taxi driver figured that they were not in their, he just switched on the engine and switched it off and told them : "we have arrived"......The first man gave him money.....the second one thanked him.....but the third one....he slapped the taxi driver.....The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them must have had realized that the car dint move an, he asked the third man : "what was that for?" the third man replied : "control your speed from next time almost killed us... HAHA

Thursday, February 3, 2011

5 friends live in 1 apartment :

Mad, Brain, Fool, Somebody and Nobody.
Somebody killed nobody, at the time Brain was in the bathroom, Mad called the police. Mad said: "Is this the police station ?"
Police said: "Yes, what is the matter ?"
Mad said: "Somebody killed Nobody."
Police said: "Are you Mad ?"
Mad said: "Yes, I am Mad."
Police said: "Do you have a Brain ?"
Mad said: Brain is in the bathroom."
Police said: U fool!
Mad said: No sir, Fool is reading this message...pass it on to another Fool
Ps: I was a victim too, sorry:D

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Bob meets a blonde!!

Bob walked into a sports bar around 9.58 pm. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.

The 10 o' clock news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Bob and said "Do you think he'll jump?"

Bob said "You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replied "Well, I bet he won't."

Bob placed a £20 bill on the bar and said "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset but willingly handed her £20 to Bob.

"Fair's fair. Here's your money."

Bob replied "I can't take your money; I saw this earlier on the 5 o' clock news, so I knew he would jump."

The blonde replied "I saw it too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Bob took the money.