President Obama

President Obama went 2 school to interact wid childrn. After a brief talk, he askd if they hv any ques. One boy raised his hand.
Obama: Wat's ur name?
Boy: John.
Obama: What's ur ques?
John: Sir, i hv 3 questions.
1. Why did America attack Iraq without approval of UN?
2. Where is Osama?
3. Why does America support Pakistan so much?
Obama: u are an intelligent student John. (Just then the recess bell rang)
Obama: Oh students we vl continue after the recess is over.

After the recess.

Obama: Ok children where were we? So anybody wants to ask a question?
Peter raises hand.
Obama: Wat's ur name?
Peter: Sir, I am peter & I hv 5 questions.
1. Why did America attack Iraq without approval of UN?
2. Where is Osama?
3. Why does America support Pakistan so much?
4. Why did recess bell rang 20 mins before the time?
5. Where is John?

Stories our parents raised us with LMAO

¤ Little Red Riding hood didn't listen to her mother.
¤ Jasmine was in a live-in relationship wid Alladin.
¤ SnowWhite lived alone wid 7 men.
¤ Pinnochio was a liar.
¤ RobinHood was a thief.
¤ Tarzan wore only an underwear.
¤ A stranger kissed Sleeping Beauty n she married him.
¤ Cindrella sneaked out at night to attend a party.

These are d stories our parents raised us wid n den they complain our generation is spoiled;):):D:p

Wife Hints to husband for a new Car

" Dear! buy me something that goes from 0 to 80 in 3 seconds when I'm on it."


Husband gifted Her A "Weight Machine" !!

I know the whole Truth

At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults hide at least one dark secret and that makes it easy to blackmail them by saying, "I KNOW THE WHOLE TRUTH", even when you don't know a thing.

The boy decides to go home and try it out...

As he greets his mother he says: "I KNOW THE WHOLE TRUTH."His mother quickly hands him $20 and says : "Just don't tell your father". Quite pleased the boy waits for his father to get home from work and says, "I KNOW THE WHOLE TRUTH."The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Don't say a word to your mother".Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying ,"I KNOW THE WHOLE TRUTH!". The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms and says: "THEN COME GIVE DADDY A BIG HUG!

Smart Blonde

"A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. "While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The blond replies....."Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?

What do You think I AM - Wife to husband : Come help with the garden.

Husband : What do u think I am a gardener ?

Wife : Come fix the toilet faucet.
Husband : What do u think I am a plumber ?

Wife : Come fix the door handle.
Husband : What do u think I am a carpenter ?

The husband went out....but when he came back, he saw that everything is fixed...the garden...toilet faucet...& the door handle.

He asked his wife who had done it ?
The wife said. : its the neighbor's son, but he gave me 2 options...
Either 2 make him a chicken burger or   have it with him...

Husband : I m sure  you gave him a chicken burger !
Wife: Who the fak do u think I am?
Mc Donalds ??