Sunday, October 31, 2010

Seven things girls do in an exam hall-


1.write

2.tuck da hair behind ears.

3.again write

4.change da empty refil

5.again write

6.ask for xtra sheet

7.again keep writin.

Seven things boyz do in an Xam hall-

1.Count the number of girls

2.Check out the young lady supervisor

3.Draw sum modern art on the back of the question paper

4.Revising the location of chits in the pockets

5.Seeing the brand name of the pen

6.Regreting wasting the last night, studying

7.Deciding the chapters to be put in option for the next exam...

Nd aftr exams..

girls- u knw papr bahut kharab gaaya, it was so lengthy i couldnt draw a diagrm.... I m goin to fail dis time(means my distinctn is gone)

boys--faad daala yaar,saala ek raat padh ke paas.. Chal party karte hai!

Pathan Joke (HIndi)

Pathan road pe susu kar raha tha.
Police wale ne pakda:
YE GAIR KANUNI HAI.

Pathan: Ye kya bolti tum?
GAIR KA NUNI?
Ye humara apan ka NUNI hai...

Friday, October 22, 2010

Loose 25Kgs in One Week!!

A fat guy Paul saw "loose 5kg in a week" in newspaper he calls office
Paul: I would like to do the training thing!
lady: Ok be ready tomorrow at 6am
the next morning at 6 Paul opens the door & finds a hot babe with just shoes,underpants & shirt saying "u catch me u fak me! & the girl starts running. Paul starts running but doesn't catch her. so during the whole week Paul tried to catch her but couldn't however he looses 5 kg.he then asked for the 10kg program.next morning at 6 Paul opens the door and sees an even hotter babe in shoes, thng & a shirt saying u catch me u fak me. He starts running after her during the whole week but cant catch her however he lost 10 kg so he thought this program is awesome! Lets try the 25 kg so he asked for it .Paul was thinking about the hottie he's gonna catch .next day at 6 Paul opens the door expecting to see a fabulous babe but finds a man with a shirt saying 'if i catch u I fak u!'

Priceless Date

ON A HOT DATE
Movie tickets-1500
Dinner-2000
car Fuel-500
coffee- 500
hotel room-5000
& your girlfriend says Shes on Periods
the smile on your face  -  PRICELESS!!

Now that my Friend Is a POKER player

Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor.
When he bent  down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bob's wife, Sue wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress!
Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to  sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.
Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bob's wife followed and asked, 'Did you see anything that you like under there?
'Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, well  indeed he did. She said,'Well, you can have it but it will cost you £500.'
After taking a minute or two to assess  the financial and moral costs of this offer, Jim confirms that he is  interested.
Sue told him that since her husband  Bob worked Friday afternoons and Jim didn't, Jim should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.
When Friday  rolled around, Jim showed up at Bob's house at 2 p..m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of £500 - they went to the bedroom and closed their  transaction, as agreed.
Jim quickly dressed and left.
As usual, Bob came home from work at 6 p.m. And upon arriving, asked his wife: 'Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?'
With a lump in her throat Sue  answered 'Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.'
Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, 'And did he give  you £500?'Sue, using her best poker face, replied, 'Well, yes, in fact he did give me £500.'
Bob, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, 'He came by the office this morning n borrowed £500 from me. He promised he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back.
'Now THAT, my  friends, is a poker player!

Sardar pepsi bhooolgaya

3 sardar picnic par gae wahan ja kar yaad aya ki "PEPSI" to ghar bhul gaye,
Decide kia ki sab se chota sardar ja kar pepsi le aye,
Chota sardar: Mai is shart par jata hu ke tum mere ane tak samose nai khaoge,
Dono ne kaha thik hai,
2 din guzar gye,
sardar nhi aya,
4 din guzar gye,
sardar nahi aya,
Dono ne socha ki ab smose kha lene chahiye, Jese hi samosa uthaya chota sardar ped ke piche se nikal ke bola. Aise karoge to mai nai jaunga !

Actual Meanings when people use short forms in english:


-Tc bye= shxt up n get l0st!
-Ahan= I am really n0t interested in your stuff baby.
-Hmm= so why r u telling me all this!
-Hey wasup= I am bored! Talk to me please.
-Cool= I have heard enough of u loser!
-Ok= whatever! Don't eat my brain now.
-Lol= trust me, i have abs0lutely n0thing to say!

Couple fighting for custody of son. Wife- I gave birth to him he's mine.

Husband-If I put my card in ATM & money pops out Whose money is it Mine or Machine's??

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Smart BOB - A man is getting into a shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower...

‎​‎​Then the door bell rings... After a few secs of arguing over which one should go and answer the door bell, the wife quickly wraps herself up in a towel and goes and opens the door... When she opens the door, there stands Bob... before she says a word, Bob says- i'll gve u $800 just to drop that towel... Aftr thinking for a moment the woman drops her towel and stands naked... Aftr a few secs Bob hands over the  money and leaves... The excited woman returns back to d bathroom and wraps up in the towel...
Her husband asks her 'who rang the bell'? It ws Bob, our
Neighbour, she replied..
'Great', the husband says, Did he say anythng about the $800 he owes me?



MORAL- Share critical credit information with ur stakeholders to prevent avoidable exposure!!!

Lot to learn from these GURATI'S - A Gujju having no child, no money, no home, a blind mother. Prays to God.

God is pleased. Grants him only 1 wish.
GUJJU: OK God, my only one wish is- 'I want my mom to SEE my wife putting 2 crore worth diamond  around on my CHILD's neck, in my mercedes benz parked near swimming pool of our new bungalow in Beverly Hills.'
GOD: I still have a lot to learn from these Gujju's.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Sunday, October 10, 2010

A japanese came to India He took a AUTO to airport & on the way a HONDA overtakes.

Japanese: HONDA made in JAPAN very fast.
Next a TOYOTA overtakes,he said TOYOTA made in JAPAN,very fast.
Airport came he asked how much?
Driver: 800Rs
Japanese:how?
Driver:METER made in INDIA, very very fast ;)

Saturday, October 9, 2010

A women find a frog in a trap while playing Golf - Frog grants her three wishes if she releases him from the trap.

Clever Woman

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I will grant You three wishes.' The woman freed the frog,
and the frog said, 'Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish
for, your husband will get ten times more or better!'
The woman said, 'That's okay.'


For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, 'You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis who women will flock to.'


The woman replied, 'That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me.' So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world!  For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, 'That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you.' okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine.' So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!


The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, 'I'd like a mild heart attack.'

Moral of the story: Women are 'CLEVER'. Don't mess with them.





Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.













The man had a heartattack ten times milder than his wife!!!

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

Female Readers who are still reading: This again proves that women never listen to anything